My High School Poetry

Hello!!!

So I recently finished high school and although a lot of my old poetry is gone, I found a couple of poems that aren’t the best poems I have ever written but I wanted to share with you all anyway!

Just a disclaimer/ warning, these two poems are quite ‘deep’ and focus on negative feelings I have felt in the past so, just letting you know…

This is the first poem I wrote. I think the overall concept is quite self-explanatory, but it’s basically about when everything just gets on top of you and you’re just like ARGHHH!!

Overwhelmed.

She felt overwhelmed by everything

Emotions, people too

Like she was drowning in an ocean

Of a dark and murky blue.

She could not see the bottom

No way for her to be free

Frantically she looked around

But found nobody.

The ocean is her classrom

And the waves are now her peers

She can’t hold her breath for much longer

As she keeps back all her tears.

The next poem is probably the one poem that affected me the most after I had written it.

It pretty much sums up how the last half of high school was for me. I’m not sure really what caused these feelings but I got through it…

Help.

I sit silently in the classroom

Whilst words tumble through the air

And I know where benificial

But I don’t really seem to care.

I try blocking out the universe

All the information and facts

I close my eyes and breathe

But I can’t seem to relax.

Because deep down there’s something wrong

A nagging, empty feeling

That comes from all the secrets

And the thoughts I’ve been concealing.

I cannot even concentrate

On basic daily tasks

Like making conversstion

Or listening in class.

And right know, as I sit here

Feeling totally consumed,

I can’t stop myself from thinking

That there’s nothing I can do

Apart from stumble through my life

Leaving things I think untold

As I hope and pray for someone

Who will give their hand to hold.

Thank you so much for reading!! It’s quite sad how I lost most of my other poems from around that time as it was quite a significant period of my life but yaaarrr.

If you are feeling like anything I talked about in these poems then please talk to someone or contact me. Don’t suffer in silence my loves ❤️

As always, I love you all,

Calistori x

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Update <3

Oh, hey there!

So it’s been about a week since I last posted and I feel as though I need to explain why.

This past week (Mon – Fri) has been so amazing. It was filled with all my favourite things – thunderstorms, Chinese food, and even a beach trip.

I had come up with so many blog post ideas that I wanted to write up and post but chose to leave it until this weekend.

Pretty much, I have been really shit this weekend (mentally) and haven’t really done what I was planning blog-wise. I’m not even joking – I stayed in bed until 2pm, got showered, put my PJs back on and went back to bed. I also ate a 1000cal chocolate bar in a day.

I’m going to try and sort myself out as me being like this isn’t benefiting anyone, so please just bear with me.

This next week I am planning on posting  “The Awesome Blogger Award” that I was nominated for by the lovely Emily as well as a July wrap up thingy. I’ve also had some poetry and writing ideas which I hope will turn out well.

Oh, and another thing, I went to pride. That was fun. It was my first time and I went with my best friend. I may do a post about that too.

And finally, I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who read and support my blog. Although there aren’t many of you, I do really, really appreciate it. So thank youuu!!!

Lots of love, Calistori

Ex Best Friend

Secrets shared, I really cared,

I never thought we would be unpaired,

But now that we have reached the end,

Was this all just play-pretend?

Laughs at parties, drink in hand,

The whole world thought that we were mad,

Skipping lessons here and there,

You were the one – I thought you cared.

Until today, who could have guessed?

My dearest friend, you were the best,

I never thought the day would come,

When we would both say that we’re done.

Thank you for the times we had,

I love you to the moon and back,

Although I don’t want this to end,

This is farewell to my bestest friend.

High school: a reflection

Hello all!

As you may know, I am 16 and so I recently finished high school – which for me was 5 years worth of friendships, hard work and trauma.

If I’m honest, I really struggled throughout high school and, like most people, I had my fair share of ups and downs.

Looking back, I just wonder what it would have been like if I’d just went about things differently. By that I mean being more confident, worrying less and smiling more. You know?

As an introvert with *self-diagnosed* social anxiety, the social side of school was hard for me. I had a fair amount of friends and I was happy with them but I always felt tired/drained after being around and talking to people for so long on a daily basis.

As for the academic side of things, I did okay. I didn’t struggle with understanding the work or anything, but with personal issues during my last year, I felt as though all my previous school work was wasted. I struggled with concentration during lessons and general motivation to do work (I may go into depth about this in another post), and I feel like that is going to be reflected in my final exam results.

I honestly think it is a shame that the 5 years ended the way they did. Like I said, I just wish I went about things differently.

At the time, I really didn’t like school, but now it’s over, I kinda miss it. I miss my friends. I miss my teachers. I miss the support I had around me. On reflection, I know that it’s over and I need to accept that. I have memories – good and bad – and, as cliche as it sounds, I need to cherish them and move on.

I am really positive that the next few years at sixth form are going to be great. And although I do miss high school, I need to move on and take advantage of the new opportunities and experiences ahead.

Thank you for reading!

This was sort of my first personal post, so it is quite scary for me to publish this, but I do hope you enjoyed.

Calistori xxx